NBrid

Sega: From Altered Beast to Anal Feast

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Written by: DarkWadeX

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Wassup people and welcome to a new part of the Black Hole a rant I affectionatly
call the A** Hole. As I looked through the gaming sites for something
to go ofabout I found it on our site itself. It would appear Sega has
screwed us DC owners again by canceling Shenmue 2. What a travesty. WHen
DC came out Shenmue was all Sega could talk about so after all the bulls***
I think we all were anxious to see what the miraculous game was. And after
playing I found out it was s***. Realtime game play!!! Like my life is
boring enough I know get to live as someone else? What fun! You get to
meet all sorts of annoying people who are addicted to ritalin and listen
as they whine and Ryo acts like a crack addict who can only formulate
the words "I see". After paying all this cash the ONLY good thing about
it was the fact it gave me the greatest character ever to make fun of:
Fuku-san. A poor happiless b****** whose only joy in life comes from his
dreams of making Ryo his love slave. After going thought this game and
withstanding Nozomi's constantly whining I thought there had to som great
reward, what was this reward? A retarded teaser to Shenmue 2, yay fer
me. EVen though I didnt like it other people became obsessed with this
piece of trash and it developed a cult following that makes the girdle
wearing Rocky Horror people look like 1 dolla hos. Well this past week
a like on pocket protestors were flung to the floor in rage due to the
fact Sega, in one final stab to the morons who bought DC [including myself]
decided to pull Shenmue 2 from US release even though Japan AND the UK
will get it anyway. It proves the price we pay for good dental hygiene.
Now I couldnt give less a damn about this game not coming over- even though
it would be funny to see Fuku-san finally express his love for Ryo at
the en of Disc 2 sparking in a QTE. The reason I am griping is the fact
Sega has screwed out of all the games we bought this piece o' s*** for.
The list of games we were screwed out of is as long as the day but I must
mention one: Toejam and Earl 3. I have looked forward to this game more
than any other and I thought I would finally get it. After a kicka** original
game they gave us the epileptic seizure enducing Panic on Funkotron and
I though that Sega wouldnt do that again. I thought the blue b*******s
would at least give me T&E3 but they canceled it even though I heard X-box
could get it. Good idea Sega give the good games to X-box the unwanted
pregancy of gaming systems. Count on Sega for good business decisions,
I mean who will ever forget the wonderful Saturn or the madly popular
32X? Allow me to give you some advice Sega: Shoot yourselves now an save
yourselves the embarassment. Until next time this is Wade saying, I have
a sawed off 12 gauge shotgun and if I find you buying a copy of Pen Pen
Trilcelon you will never see it coming...... Sweet Dreams.....hehehh