NBrid

State of the Hole Address

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Written by: DarkWadeX

Welcome my peeps to the new edition of the Black Hole. Now I know you guys were expecting some of my patented foul, tasteless, utterly offensive humor and sexual innuendo but alas, today we have more pressing matters to attend to.



As you guys know, NBrid has seen better days. Much like BBT and HyperShadow after an all-night cartoon homosexual porn-a-thon, NB has hit a big slump and everyone is wondering how we can get out of it. Things have gotten so damned bad people have even come to your's truely for advice. So now allow me to add my insight.



1. Porn



NBrid needs porn. Let's face it, everyday thousands upon thousands of overweight pathetic bastards come to the internet to fufill their masturbatory needs. If we were to add an extensive collection of pornographic images we could attract these people to NBrid and maybe once they have stopped "petting the dog", they will give a great review of Lester the Unlikely for SNES.



2. More Sandshrew Articles and Reviews



I have said it before and by God, I'll say it again: Shrew is the King of Comedy. Who would have thought to script a 3 way sex battle between Peach, Mario, and Wario? No, not Klam after his weekly Baccardi mixer and viewing of St. Elmo's Fire. That would be Da Shrew. The guy is sick, disturbed, idiotic, and inbred; and that is EXACTLY what the site needs to be one step ahead of all others.



3. More Porn



Self explanatory, jackass.



4. NBrid Records



Oh yeah, music performed by your favorite NBrid members! Classics like Klamkilla performs the greatest hits of Culture Club and Hybrid covers the ENTIRE catalog of Cat Stevens! I ask you, who hasn't wanted to hear GaMeDeViL do a rollicking rendition of Men Without Hats' classic, "The Safety Dance"?



5. More Utterances of the word 'Fuck'



Fuckin A'



...and finally the one thing that will save NBrid:



6. Close NBrid down and start up a fried cheese eaterie.



You read me correctly. Who needs gaming news and reviews when one could have the delicious and potentially deadly goodness of fried cheese? I think the question answers itself my friends.





So in closing, I hope this advice can be used to help NBrid survive the drought it finds itself stuck in, but rest assured. I shall be here making crude and offensive jokes right to the bloody end.



Till next time, keep your pants up, be kind to your fellow man, and play da Lester all night long!