NBrid

The Mullets (UPN)

"Business in the front, party in the back!" This fall we are treated to yet another great sitcom from former Simpson writers. Bah! Who am I kidding. After only one episode, I want my money back.

The Mullets, Tuesday nights this fall on UPN (consult your local listings), is produced and written by the legendary Simpsons writing team of Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein. Who are they you ask? Well here is a list of Simpson episodes they wrote together (they have done other shows too like Mission Hill):

Marge Gets a Job, Marge in Chains, $pringfield, Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy, Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song, Lady Bouvier's Lover, Sideshow Bob Roberts, Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy, Bart vs. Australia, and Who Shot Mr. Burns (part 1 and 2). Phew. They sure like "vs." episodes. They also helped write Treehouse of Horrors IV, and had clips in Another Simpsons Clip Show. Weinstein was one of the many writers of 22 Short Films About Springfield. Plus they had executive producer credits on Treehouse of Horror VII, The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson, The Principal and the Pauper, and Lisa the Simpson.

If you recall (your lucky if you don't), this past spring Fox debuted The Pitts written by Simpsons alum Mike Scully. To say it was awful (I refuse to use the obvious pun here) is an understatement. It tried to be a live action cartoon, and failed miserably. I thought it was to air on Sundays all summer, but I haven't seen it since. Darn. Now The Mullets is far from this bad. But it's not good either.

(Before I forget, in case you didn't know a mullet, besides being their last name,  is that ugly ass redneck haircut where it's short in front and very long in back. Other names for a mullet according to The Vandals are: ape drape, norce neck warmer, hockey hair, forbidden hair, achy breaky hair, and shom.)

Let me print the summary that was in the TV guide: "Fun-loving brothers hold blue-collar jobs, watch pro wrestling and sport identical haircuts. Dwayne and Denny try to win tickets to WrestleMania from a radio contest." What? That doesn't interest you either?

It's basically a show about two brothers, Dwayne (Michael Weaver) and Denny (David Hornsby) who are roofers for Mullet Boys Roofing, and who live what is best described as a 'redneck' lifestyle. Their mother is played by Loni Anderson and their new stepfather is played by J. Peterman, err I mean John O'Hurley. Though he acts just like his J. Peterman character on Seinfeld. So of course he's the outsider. The guy from a rich, polite manner, socialite background that is having a hard time relating to his new stepkids (well, they are in their late 20's). He's even the 'famous' host of the gameshow Wizardry. But none of this makes much sense to me, even if cliched.

The first episode was as predictable as the show was unfunny. After we are introduced to all the main players, we find out their mother's birthday is coming up. As a gift they want to get her tickets to WrestleMania. And by 'get' I mean win in a radio contest (because of course it's sold out, duh). To do this they have to listen to a top 40 radio station for 72 hours straight. Oh the horror of listening to NSYNC and Britney! Okay, this was the one time I could relate. Of course they win them (barely). The problem is when they go to give them to their mother, they find out their stepfather is throwing her a dinner party the same night as the match! They were given an invitation but never opened it because they were insulted thinking it was money to buy a gift. So we then get to watch hilarity ensue as these two fish out of water attend a 'borish' upper class party. Followed by the reverse of that when their stepdad attends WrestleMania and he has the gaul to make fun of wrestling. {{rolls eyes}}

I was hoping for a show that made fun of people with mullets. A satire in the tradition of the Simpsons. (In retrospect, I don't know what I was thinking.) But instead I get a show of nothing but hokum that seems targeted directly at those that wear said haircuts. Maybe those that actually like the WWE (I noticed Smackdown was on right before this aired) would enjoy it. If the Simpsons were a pint of Guinness, this would be a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer just like they drank in the show (nice product placement for their target audience I see). If I didn't know better, I would of said this was written by King of the Hill writers, though at least King of the Hill can be funny.

Girls Gone Wild jokes are old. Wrestling isn't real jokes are even older. Smelly armpits and falling off the roof are kindergarten laughs. Talking dollar bill transitions make no sense. Girls smelling like nachos is a good thing? And what's the deal with the token black guy? This is 2003, right? The only time I almost laughed was when as they arrived at the dinner party they asked their stepdad if they were dressed fine. "Shirts, pants... if it's good enough for Taco Bell, it's good enough for me."

In the end, I can't believe these are the same guys that gave us Bart vs. Australia. Sure it was just one episode, but I don't see any promise. But who knows since it at least didn't make me vomit like the Pitts did. Still, you're probably better off spending your Tuesday nights cleaning your television, or even your bathroom.