The Long F**k You Goodnight: A Retrospect
08.06.02
DarkWadeX
Welcome to the final Black Hole. I had prepared an involved and intrecate finale that would have elevated the Hole to a new plateau, but sadly that one bit the dust most uncerimoniously. So I decided to use this final Black Hole to tell the history of Wade.

I first began using the name Wade on Gamepro chat when I needed a nick but had no idea of which to use. It was at this time I remembered the classic cartoon U.S. Acres and everyone's favorite aquaphobic duck, Wade. I felt Wade was too stupid sounding so I decided to add the Dark and X3 to it to create the first Wade nick, DarkWadeX3.

I stayed over at Gamepro for about a year, creating comedic gold with my legendary rivalries with Desperado a.k.a The Ole Stupid Bastard, and MIMIC a.k.a I AM TOO DAMNED STUPID TO CUT MY CAPS LOCK OFF. But alas all things come to an end and Gamepro went the way of the dinosaurs and Patrick Swayze's (Klam's favorite actor, he loves him some Road House or Father Hood) career.

I soon got a DC and with it I went to IRC. Once there I met my good friends Altron "The Coolest Damned Idler In The World" and Gdog "If You Are Gonna Kill Yourself Then Just DO IT ALREADY!" I quickly made friends yet I also was most speedy to make some enemies, namely the ops. Even though I had quite a few friends that were ops, Altron, DawnSky, and J-1 among them, I never got along with the majority of them. My frank nature of telling people what I think about them and my rampant use of the First Amendment quickly made me a famous, or maybe more infamous, person on IRC0.

I must have been on IRC for a good 6 or 7 months by the time I crossed paths with the Brids for the first time. My normal link to IRC0 was the PlanetWeb (remember these bastards?" site but one day it was down and I was stranded. I went to Yahoo and did a search for a new link and came upon an odd little site named Nbrid.net. Once there I found my link and for about a month, every night I would come into #hybrid for about one second, that being how long it took me to type /join #sonic. After a few weeks of this I guess Hybrid got tired of it and started up a conversation during the afore mentioned one second interval.

We got to talking about gaming and it was pretty fun. I met Klam (whom I could actually stand back then, for a week we were ever....friends), Boner, and Sin, all with whom I started long friendships with. So for the next few weeks I would go into the NBrid room nightly and hang out for a while. After a few weeks the guys had told me they were about to have their meeting and they said I could attend. I of course did and by the end of the night I would have become a Brid.

After going through the obligatory topics and comments Hy had began talking to Sin about his retro column, of which he never did ever one edition. Hy had become fed up with Sin's negligence and asked the room "Anyone want to do a retro column?". By this point I had become wellknown for being a retro gaming afficionado, continously coming underfire for my anti next generation systems comments. I said I would love to give it a shot and Hy agreed, saying that if I joined NBrid then the column was mine. So I joined NBrid and got a feature column in one night.

After all that it came time to do the first edition of The Black Hole. it launched with NBrid 4.0 on May 5th 2001. That first edition was pretty much shit. The fun of having my own column to showcase my writing quickly wore off when I actually wrote that first one, a boring and bland look at the TMNT franchise. Undaunted I soon did a second edition of the Hole, this one being a boring and bland look at the Mario franchise (only part 1 exists on the site, maybe part 2 will turn up one day). After doing these 2 I went to Hy and voiced my disapproval with the direction of the column. It was just too damned boring, not only boring to write but boring to read. So the Hole went into a self imposed hiatus until I could find some way to revitalize it.

During this time I kicked around a plethora of ideas, many of which could be classified as pure shit. While I was working on the Hole I had noticed that Klam had began his eventually aborted Klamterviews. He was interviewing Brids to create a database of info for the Guild. One day he interviewed me and I had the blast of inspiration that made the Hole what it is today; Mock interviews with gaming characters!

I then introduced The Black Hole with Wade, the first edition was a roundtable discussion with a psycho Tetroid, a horse steriod popping Mario, a celebrity belly obsessed Hybrid, and a drunk Dale from Chip N' Dale. This new format was indeed a helluva departure from the original Hole but it really caught on with people, eventually developing it's own cult following. Soon after I did another interview, this one being with Mega Man. It continued the odd and somewhat demented styling of the last and was enjoyed by the masses. Then I wrote the one article I was destined to regret....

Hybrid had always made it very well known that he was a fan of Kirby, the annoying little pink ball of a hero. After hearing him go on for countless hours about how he loved Kirby I got the idea to write a special Fan Fic about Kirby; Game Biography. It explored Kirby's past in a rather explicit manner to say the least. What was intended as an joke to Hybrid soon sparked the now infamous censorship wars.

Bone had decided to make a boards post on the quality of the articles being submitted to the site. In this he used excerpts from recent submissions, 2 really: my Kirby and a incredibly nasty article from Shrew. The vast majority of comments used were really from Shrew's, of some 6 or 7 comments only 2 were taken from mine. However only I was mentioned in the debacle and Klam in a return post blasted me for sending in such quote "perverted and unfunny stuff". I was quick to defend my work, saying Klam didnt know what he was talking about, he hadnt even read the damned article just 2 lone comments taken out of context. This officially ended mine and Klam's friendship and started the rivalry you see today.

Game Biography was eventually (and mistakenly) placed on the site later but by the time it made it up it was far too late to repair the rift between me and the higherups. Later I wrote the one Black Hole that everyone seemed to enjoy, my parody of the whole Cube Europe debacle from the boards (go into the archives and look for Read This, it is most definatly worth your time). From this point on things kinda got dulled out. NBrid started it's downgrade into oblivion and I eventually became to the poster boy for the rebel. When people disapproved of what was going on in NBrid they came to me.

I quit last October or November but came back when I found out Hy was going to give the Black Hole to someone else. I had worked for a year to get the Hole to where it was and I couldnt let someone else have their way with it. From then on my participation in NBrid was very limited. I had my constant fights with Hy and Klam and that, aside from the submissions to the site pretty much outlined everything I did.

Then this year at the 2nd Annual Briddy Awards I won the award for Column Of The Year, beating out my long time nemeses Klam and Hy. It was at this point I decided I had accomplished all I could in NBrid. I felt this was my greatest victory and should be my last. So in late May 2002 I told Hy I was quitting and I was pretty much told NBrid was going down with me. So today June 8th 2002 is the last day of not only the Black Hole but also of NBrid.

I would be a lying bastard if I said I wouldnt miss NBrid, I put a year and a half into it and even though my friendship with Klam and Hy is officially dead I will still look back on all these memories and stories fondly. And even though with this submission my tenure with NBrid officially ends, dont automatically think the Black Hole is dead. I wouldnt be surprised if we dont see it come back on another site or maybe even it's own site, if so then rest assured I will tell you guys first.

So NBrid, all that is left to say is God bless, have a safe journey, and with that The Dude Has Left The Fuckin Building, goodnight.

 

 

 
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