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Written by: klamkilla

Hmm, after starting out with a bang, this section has kind of faded (with
the exception of my Pit that is). So I thought I would take you all on
another trip down memory lane. Today I am going to focus on one of my
all time favorite TV shows. This show aired in the 80's on Nickelodeon.
The show I am talking about is:

You Can't Do That on Television.

This was one of the funniest shows on Nickelodeon at the time. It was
basically a sketch comedy show along the lines of SNL, MadTV, and all
of those shows.

I don't know if anyone remembers, but in the 80's Nickelodeon wasn't
the wholesome, kid friendly, parent pleasing channel it is today. It was
basically another channel for MTV to air some of the stuff they couldn't
air due to time constraints. Nick used to have some great shows on it
like Welcome Freshman, Salute Your Shorts, Ren and Stimpy, and Wild and
Crazy Kids. There was none of this Nick Jr. crap in the morning. No face,
no Blue, and definitely no little bear.

That is neither here nor there, however as the focus of this article
is not on any of the above mentioned shows. So let's stick to the subject
at hand.

The beginning of You Can't Do That on Television would feature a joke.
It was along the lines of, "Made up show will not be seen tonight. Instead
we present you with this low brow, unintelligent garbage" (I love
when shows knock themselves). My all time favorite opening joke has to
be, "Kermit becomes roadkill will not be seen tonight. Please don't change
the channel." HAHAHA!

Then the opening credits would roll. This would entail of some very silly
music accompanying a factory scene with kids being produced then tossed
into a huge grinder. Told ya Nick was more bad ass back then.

We would then be treated to a few of the cast members sitting on a few
chairs on the show's set. This was the equivalent of the opening monologue
on SNL. Well they would be chatting, and then one of them would say the
phrase, "I don't know". This was a mistake because once you said the phrase
"I don't know", a huge bucket of green slime would fall on your head.
A similar fate was ahead of those who said water, just replace the slime
with a bucket of water.

On a side note, I turned Nickelodeon on the other day and I was appalled.
Kids were being slimed, and they were psyched about it! When I was a kid
just the notion of being slimed drew fear in the hearts of kids everywhere.

From there we went to some skits. While I do not have that clear of a
memory, I can remember one recurring skit that always stuck out in my
mind. The kids would go to a restraunt (always the same one) and order
"Barf Burgers". The guy who cooked the foods name was of course "Barf".
Now these burgers looked and smelled horrible, yet for some unknown reason
the kids would always eat them. This led to quite a bit of vomiting. I
told you it was bad ass.

Well I hope I have sparked a few fond memories in some of your minds.
This is Klam signing off for now.