NBrid

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Written by: klamkilla

 (no relation to the crappy SNES game)

We all know that Mario is an industry icon. His

games have sold millions of copies worldwide.

His likeness has been donned in a movie (albeit a

crappy one).



With all that said we here at NBrid labs thought

it would be fitting to make Mario once again take

a role in a revolution. No, not another gaming one,

rather by being the first one to travel through

time.



The document below is a journal that was kept and

recorded by two of NBrids' top scientists,

NeoDilbert and Colforbin.



This information has been kept under minimal

security and this is the first public glimpse

into...



NBrid Labs experiment #047:

Time traveling fun with Mario.



[NeoDilbert] OK OK testing testing... 1... 2... 3 is

this thing recording?



[Colforbin] All clear on this end, begin

transmission.



[NeoDilbert] Greetings ladies and gentlemen.

Today marks a first in history. We have succeeded

in sending a silicon based life form back in time.



[Colforbin] Now it might strike you as odd that

we were somehow able to send something that isn't

living, let alone real, back in time, but I can

assure you that everything you see is

perfectly...



[NeoDilbert] Yeah, Col I have been meaning to ask

you.... How DID we send him back in time? I mean

he is a game character.



[Colforbin] Yes ummm anyways, moving along let's

take a look at the first tape....



Tape 1: 1984



[NeoDilbert] Ahhh yes, 1984 a great year and the

site of our first time traveling experiment. Get a

shot of the screen as we see Mario materializing.



[Colforbin] For the record, doesn't Mario look

stunning? He is fully rendered in 3-D thanks in

part to NBrids' patented GAMECUBE technology.



[Editor's note - Gamecube technology not patented

by NBrid or any of it's subsidiaries including

but not limited to PSOworld.net]



[NeoDilbert] He looks somewhat bewildered at the

sight of so much feathered hair Col. Do you think

this will have any affect on his mental psyche

throughout the rest of the experiment?



[Colforbin] Oh... ummm... sorry I got a bit

distracted by these pogs I found over here. It's

no wonder these things are so popular!



[NeoDilbert] Anyhoo it seems Mario has emerged from

a record store with what appears to be a new Van

Halen album. He doesn't seem to recognize David

Lee Roth without his receding hairline.



[Colforbin] Hey Dilbert he found an arcade!

Wouldn't it be funny to see Mario play a Mario

game?



[NeoDilbert] YOU FOOL, haven't you seen Back to the

Future 2? If future Mario sees past Mario, it could

be catastrophic!



[Colforbin] Ummm yeah I remember that, but I

always thought it was the other way around.



[NeoDilbert] Oh yeah, god call... hey look he

found the original Super Mario Bros. arcade

cabinet. He seems bewildered and somewhat

embarrassed about his somewhat peculiar choice in

apparel.



[Colforbin] Yeah the 80's had some pretty

horrible fashion trends, remember go-go boots?

Actually come to think about it, go-go boots were

hot... but not as hot as hot pants.



[NeoDilbert] Ahhh yes hot pants, fond memories of

standing outside of the exercise clinic when I was

a teen... uh oh it seems we have a situation

here! A 14 year old kid has made a connection

between the Mario in the game and our time

traveler.



[Colforbin] Wow really? I am surprised it took

someone this long to notice that Mario was a

walking CG render. What do we do about this Dilbert?



[NeoDilbert] Yeah he does stick out more than a

gay or an Italian at a St. Patrick's Day parade.

I say we kill the project. I don't even think

Nintendo knows we kidnapp...



[Colforbin] Shut up and kill the feed it's

beginning to get gruesome. Mario seems to be

throwing fists to defend himself from the mob

that has formed.



[NeoDilbert] I'll bet he wishes he had one of

those flower things now huh?



[Colforbin] OK OK I'm killing the feed... now

(he pulls the plug on the monitor). Now let's make

sure that the next time we send a character back

to 1984 it is a character that no one will ever

know is gone.... like Kirby* or the boat from

Jaws.



[NeoDilbert] Hey man don't be an idiot. EVERYONE

cares about the boat from Jaws.



[Both in unison] Well respected members of the

scientific community and board net surfers with

too much time on their hands, I hope you had just

as much fun reading Mario's little odyssey as we

had watching it. Good night everyone.



End Tape #1





* Just kiddin about the no one caring about Kirby

comment. As long as Hybrid doesn't die

unexpectedly (heh heh heh), Kirby will always have

a loyal and loving fan base.