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Written by: DarkWadeX

How is it going people? I have decided to take MrBot's

advice and put down my harmonica and bring you a

new Hole. This one is so good, maybe someone will read

it. [Here is hoping!] Well tonight I present a one on

one interview with a true legend of gaming. So please

welcome an innovator of side scrolling, Mega Man.



MegaMan: Nice to be here Wade.

Wade: Well Mega, it is great to have you. You have had

a long and historic career spanning almost 17 years,

how does that make you feel?

MM: It makes me feel great Wade. Few characters get to

make one sequel, let alone as many as I have.

Wade: Your body of work is very impressive.

MM: I do have a cute ass, don't I?

Wade: Umm..... I meant your career has been

impressive.

MM: Indeed it has! I have never made a bad game,

unlike the golden child Mario.

Wade: That isn't entirely true, Mega. Need I mention

MegaMan Soccer?

MM: How DARE you mention that game! I have made it

very clear that, that game was made during a time that

I was fighting my addiction to painkillers.

Wade: Of course. As I briefly mentioned in the intro,

you made many innovations in the realm of

sidescrollers. Where did you get the idea to make

games?

MM: It was the day I got NES. It came with Super Mario Bros.

and I felt the game was missing something. So later

playing, I watched the 6 o'clock news and it came to

me. After watching a story on a group of people being

horribly mutilated by a madman with a gun I thought,

"People like guns". I mean the most popular movies

have guns in them, so I thought why not make a game but

not just ANY game..... a game with guns!!! But not

only a gun but a hero with a gun for an arm! A few

days later as I was making love to my girlfirend

Roll, she said, "C'mon my funky Mega Man!!!" And the

rest is history.

Wade: [snores]

MM: Wade!!

Wade: Hmm....er. Well Mega that was a great story.

Another interesting thing about your games was the

names of the villains, how did you consistently make

them?

MM: The villain names came from everyday life. For

example, one day in the PigglyWiggly I saw a woman

with humongous melons, since there was 2 I thought

GeminiMan!

Wade: Great, any other stories come to mind?

MM: Well one day I was watching Martha Stewart and I

looked down and BOOM! WoodMan was born!

Wade: Oh My God..... changing the subject... After 6

games on NES you made the leap to SNES with the MMX

series, why change the series?

MM: Actually it wasn't our choice. Dr Wily was busted

for molesting Chairy, the talking chair from the

Peewee Herman show. After that we determined this gave

us the perfect opportunity to revamp the series, plus

the fact shooting an old man in the ass with my gun

was getting old.

Wade: Of course, at this time you underwent a big

breakup with Capcom over their choice to get a new and

younger person to play X.

MM: Basically Capcom stabbed me in the back. MMX was

MY idea. I came up with every detail and one day when

I came to work they told me I had been replaced!

Wade: How did it feel to have your work stolen from

you?

MM: It pissed me off that is what it did! I built

Capcom, not Street Fighter and not Darkwing Duck. It was

ME!!

Wade: Well what happened after your firing?

MM: I got involved with many things I am not proud

of.... I developed many addictions and ultimately

became a pimp.

Wade: A pimp?

MM: Yes but it didn't last long. A 4 foot man in blue

spandex with a gun for an arm doesn't get much respect.

Wade: After your failure as a pimp what did you do?

MM: I hit rockbottom. I ended up working on the

corner for 3 cents. But luckily a friend came to my

rescue.

Wade: Who was that?

MM: Dr. Wily. After getting his penchant for molesting

talking furniture out of his system he built a

successful career making straw hats in Amish country. I

will never forget that day. An old man stopped beside

me and as I looked up, there he was. He took me to his

log cabin in Ohio and gave me a job. That helped me

begin the long road to recovery.

Wade: That is a great story Mega. Tell us about your

comeback.

MM: Sure. After 3 years in Amish country, I woke up

one day to see a Capcom rep at the door. He said that

they wanted a new MM game. I was excited that I had

been given a 2nd chance at life, a 2nd chance to make

the most of life!!!

Wade: And Mega Man 8 was a big success and you lived

happily ever after right?

MM: No, it was a flop. Capcom sued my ass, Wily was

caught f***in a cartoon recliner that was in a LazE

Boy commercial, and I got readdicted to

painkillers...... Hey wanna get your pipes cleaned?

Wade: ....er... no thanks. This might be a good time to

say goodnight and I will see you next time!